Zwischen Immer und Nie: An Exploration of Infatuation and Desire in Andre Aciman’s ‘Call Me By Your Name’

Zwischen Immer und Nie: An Exploration of Infatuation and Desire in Andre Aciman’s ‘Call Me By Your Name’

Infatuation is often synonymous with teenage crushes and belonging to something unattainable. It’s all consuming and yet, confusing, existence can overcome both the recipient of such infatuation and the one afflicted. In its own way, infatuation is an illness. Born of an uncontrollable desire that blurs the lines between obsession and love.

One important consideration is whether to call infatuation ‘love’. The qualities of such an emotion mimic those we associate with love – strong admiration, deep caring for another, in romantic ways, a physical attraction. But infatuation pushes love into deeper waters, where obsession merges with possession and the afflicted becomes consumed with the mere idea of the one they desire. Underneath it all, this is the true nature of infatuation.

Andre Aciman’s Call Me By Your Name encompasses all sides of infatuation, love and, most importantly, desire. It examines the very core of desire and what it means to be intimate.

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Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

What do I know about love?

Admittedly, very little.

I know there are a million different types of love, if not more. There’s familial love, friendship, pets (although some will argue pets count as family). There is romantic love, love you hate to feel, love you long to feel. There’s the love you feel for your favourite character, that ‘soft spot’ you hold for the cute barista in your local coffee shop. There is the love that hides in the furthest corner of your mind for the person you wish you could have, but know you can’t. Or the love that leaps out whenever you’re around them. It is the reflection of yourself in the water as you walk across your favourite beach. It is in the kiss goodbye in the hospital ward before the machines are switched off. It is the laughter with the bartender who ‘just got you’. It is the free fall of a bungee jump, hair wrapped around your face and adrenaline pumping through your veins. It is the silence as you’re immersed in your favourite book. 

Love is a million things and more. 

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Expectation by Anna Hope

Expectation by Anna Hope

I’m very nostalgic.

Even at 23 years old, I look back at my life quite often and see how different I’ve grown, how far I’ve come (or how far I’ve fallen, in some ways). It’s a bit dramatic, given that I’ve only just started my twenties and have so much ahead of me. 

But I feel like everyone goes through this at each stage. Expecting so much from the future and getting to it, only to miss the past. Or at least that’s how I know a lot of people are. 

That’s exactly what you get from Anna Hope’s Expectation

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